Reflecting

My uncle and me when I was little.

 

I can remember exactly what I was doing this day 2 years ago. It was New Years Eve 2011 and I was at home with my family. My mom’s phone rang and it was my grandpa calling. He told my mom to hand the phone to my dad, saying that it was important. My dad took the phone and started to talk to my grandpa. There was a look of worry that flashed across his face. Whatever my grandpa was calling for must have been important.

I remember my dad saying, “Call me back when you know for sure.” He hung up the phone and just sat there. My mom started asking what was wrong and if someone got hurt. All my dad would say is, “I’m not saying anything until I know for sure.” Then the phone rang again and my dad picked it up.

At this point I knew something terrible had happened but I didn’t want to know. While my dad got up and went into his room to talk on the phone, I got up to leave the room for a moment to calm myself down. When I came back into the room I could hear my mom sobbing in her bedroom along with my dad. I started crying not even knowing what happened. My little brother came up to me crying and said, “Uncle Matt killed himself.”

I broke down in tears, shaking from the news. My brother and I made our way into my mom and dad’s room and my dad confirmed the news. I remember seeing my dad holding my mom in his arms while she cried. My uncle Matt was her little brother and he had just spent Christmas with us 5 days before. Apparently he had locked himself in the bathroom and lit some charcoal. This caused him to die from carbon dioxide poisoning. The weeks following I had nightmares. There was one where I saw him kill himself in front of me. Harsh I know, but it’s what happened. I don’t have those dreams anymore though.

I miss you Uncle Matt. See you soon.
Happy New Year- Peanut